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Our Own Baggage

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In the second chapter of Bernard Poduska’s Till Death Do Us Part , he discusses things that we bring with us into a marriage. He names this like, “our levels of self-esteem, our willingness to adapt to change, our attitudes toward life, and our expectations and values.” Another thing that is mentioned we bring is this idea, this belief, that marriage is a smooth sailing experience and that marriage seems to “solve all of your problems.” About up to a year ago, I used to have this same assumption. You have no idea how happy I am that I have “come to senses” because I believe, like most, that if you jump into a marriage expecting perfect happiness most of the time, you are sorely mistaken and will feel very disappointed. I believe that having a good understanding of the hardships that will present themselves in a marriage, that you will be better prepared for marriage and will be more successful in solving issues that will come about. When it comes to family rules,
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Equal Partnership

A marriage relationship should be a partnership. In an address given by Dr. Richard B. Miller, he talked about how unequal partnership and power in a marriage is a predictor for depression. We must all be sure that we are sharing the power in our marriages. We will obviously have different tasks in and outside of the home, but this doesn't mean we are meant to be unequal and that one is better than the other.  One of my favorite quotes in this reading comes from from Spencer W. Kimball. He said, "Our sisters do not wish to be indulged or to be treated condescendingly; they desire to be respected and revered as our sisters and our equals. I mention all these things, my brethren, not because the doctrines or teachings of the Church regarding women are in any doubt, but because in some situations our behavior is of doubtful quality."  I work at a saw mill/lumber yard and I am literally the only girl there. I work with a lot of guys who come from rough backgrounds, but t
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Physical Intimacy

There are select topics within in the church that I have a VERY strong opinion of am VERY passionate about. One of those is physical and sexual intimacy. While I am not married, I have my opinions on this topic and the way that it is being taught to our youth. In a talk/article by Sean E Brotherson, he says, "It is also important to understand that is OKAY, as Latter-day Saints, to ask such questions and to seek meaningful answers." When parents and/or teachers are asked about this issue from a child or teenager, a lot of the time, they will dodge the question, or talk about guilt and shame when it comes to physical intimacy.  Sean E Brotherson also says that, "Ignorance is the first enemy of sexual fulfillment in marriage...For some LDS couples, especially those where one or both struggle with negative feelings about sex, doctrinal permission feels needed to even discuss or study such things. It is okay to read about sex. It is okay to talk about sex." Newly mar
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Charity

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       One of my favorite attributes to study is charity. What is charity? Moroni 7:47 says, "But charity is the pure love of Christ, and it endureth forever; and whoso is found possessed of it at the last day, it shall be well with him." While our natural man is more inclined to judge others, those who possess charity, a heavenly gift, will accept rather than judge.         Marvin J. Ashton has said, "Perhaps the greatest charity comes when we are kind to each other, when we don't judge or categorize someone else, when we simply give each other the benefit of the doubt or remain quiet." We need to remember that it is not our place to judge others, our first and only responsibility is to love. No matter what.        As Elder Max Caldwell has said regarding charity, "The phrase 'love like Christ' might have meaning in three dimensions: Love f or  Christ, Love  from  Christ, and Love  like  Christ." The Atonement is the single, most selfless
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Agency and Anger

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           In Elder Lynn G. Robbins talk “Agency and Anger”, he points out a strategy that Satan uses. He says, “A cunning part of Satan’s strategy is to dissociate anger from agency, making us believe that we are victims of an emotion we cannot control.” I really liked his opening statement because this is something that I struggle with. I have a hard time controlling my negative emotions and I am stuck in the belief that I will never change, and that these emotions will always control my life and I can’t do anything about it. When we let these negative emotions control our lives, we become more subjective to anger. When it comes to marriage, we need to learn how to control these emotions and turn it into an opportunity to talk things through with our partner.             Something else that stuck out to me was how he proclaims that there is a war on the family, and it all comes back to Satan. He knows how important and central the family is to God’s plan, and the true happiness th
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Beware of Pride

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In President Ezra Taft Benson's talk, Beware of Pride , he says, "At the end of this world, when God cleanses the earth by fire, the proud will be burned as stubble and the meek shall inherit the earth." Afterall, it was Lucifer that fell because of his pride. I have to admit, and I am sure many of us can attest to, it that we are all prideful at one time or another. We need to always be aware of our pride and willing to humble ourselves to fix this sin. Something that I love that President Benson points out is how there is no such thing as "righteous pride." Pride, in its entirety, is a sin. Being prideful is "pitting or will against God's." This is the opposite of what we should be doing. In every aspect of our lives, we should be striving to become closer to God by trusting in His plan and always be willing to submit our will to His. This is something that I really struggle with. I always feel like I know what is best for me
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The Little Things

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         In Gottman's  The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work , it discusses how the first step in turning toward each other starts with the “mini-moments.” It is those small acts of love, affection, and romance where a strong relationship is built. In Gottman’s             There are many people who believe that it is those grand adventures or gestures of affection is how you show love to your spouse. But we need to remember that we need to keep the flame burning. We can’t always go on big vacations or receive expensive gifts to feel like we are being appreciated, or expecting your partner to feel appreciative of you. Doing the small things; going out to eat, watching a movie together, going on a walk, those things are what keeps that light ignited.             An important part of marriage is to show interest in your partner's interests. This is something that I am worried about for my own future marriage. I fear that I will lose my sense of ind
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